Celeb-Obsessed

Lately I have found myself really irritated with the way celebrities are elevated in our society and how centered our culture is around them. Magazines and blogs now count the dimples in a celeb's butt, speculate on pregnancies that are never there, and report on trivialities such as what they drink at Starbucks. Now I fully admit that have been sucked into the celeb magazines and even the blogs before, but decided a few months ago to try to get back to reality and stop seeing them so much. Turns out, it is not so easy.

Has anyone noticed how many female celebrities now represent brand name products? It seems like they have exploded into advertisements in the last year and I am really getting sick of seeing them in so many places.

For instance, in this month's Glamour and InStyle magazines, companies that mainly used to just feature random models now feature the following celebs (some two to three-page spreads!): Jessica Biel for Revlon; Naomi Watts for Ann Taylor; Halle Berry for Revlon; Kate Hudson for Almay; Eva Longoria for Loreal; Kate Winslet for Lancome Paris; Julianne Moore for Bulgari; Beyonce for Loreal Paris; Amanda Seyfried for Movado; Drew Barrymore for Cover Girl; and the list goes on.

Is it too much to ask that we aren't met with these celebs with every page we turn? What happened to the regular old models who used to be picked for each brand, and they were different looking and unique and - you know - people. How about some originality?

Is anyone else feeling Celeb-Overload??

Peanut Butter & Jelly Shoes

Children of the 80's: . . . . . more specifically, GIRLS of the 80's: Do you remember jelly shoes? Of course you do. I had two pairs between the ages of 7 and 9 I think. I had a light pink pair and a clear pair. My favorite place to wear them was on any hard surface upon which they would click and slap and make that wonderfully grown-up woman sound resembling a heel. So I would walk around in the kitchen in them, just to hear the sound of them on the linoleum. And then I would wear them to play hopscotch in the driveway with my friends. I felt so cool and confident as I hopped along expertly in my jellies. Until - OUCH, damnit, a rock got in there! That seemed to happen a lot with those didn't it?

So being a girl who grew into a woman who adores shoes, imagine my delight when I saw that jelly shoes are back - in adult form. Melissa is making shoes made out of jelly material in all kinds of versions including flats, heels, pumps, slingbacks, sandals, gladiators, and more. And they are designed by noteworthy fashion icons such as Vivienne Westwood. Of course, this is probably so they can jack up the price, but hey, it's the fashion world.

I first laid eyes on the Melissa shoes while visiting Las Vegas this month and shopping the incredible stores at The Wynn and Encore hotels. They were like shiny, rubbery, girly beacons of candy and rainbows glittering at me from across the store. As Garth in Wayne's World would say, I was pulled in by their tractor beam. They had huge plastic cherries on the toe! I couldn't stand it. I touched, I pulled back, I picked up, I put down, I picked up again. And I grinned. And was that something yummy I smelled? Why yes, the cheerful sales gal said - all the Melissa's are scented like bubblegum. Well, now isn't that just taking me right back to the hopscotch line?! Instead of being turned off by the blatant girliness, I was pulled even further in, and after an encouraging nod from my shopping partner Angela, (thank you Ange for not saying they were hideous, or things might have gone differently) I asked to try them on.
It was jel at first sight.
They had me at jello.

So, my silly new shoes came home with me from Vegas and might have started an obsession.

An obsession which my internet browser is not helping by grabbing my cookies and having banner ads pop up with coupons to Zappos, showing pics of the other Melissa styles. Damn you Firefox! Stop stalking me! Oooo - are those burgundy ones?

Note: The shoebox said this style was named 'Lady Drag' and when Angela I saw that we had to laugh. Great, I thought, they are associating these shoes with drag queens. But later when I searched the plethora of Melissa shoes online I saw that the name had been cut off and they are called Lady Dragon. ;)

Dust

I never got to accompany Jenny to church. She was dressed in a light blue summer dress and walking down the hallway to the front door when she stopped at a low table to pick up a stuffed dog toy lying there. It was then that I glimpsed a mirror hanging on the wall above the table. But Jenny didn’t look up enough for me to see anything but her waist and the stuffed dog in her hands. She stood silently for a moment, clutching the dog tightly and fingering the satin lining of its ears. Then, at the shrill burst of Laura’s voice from outside, demanding Jenny hurry up, she turned and ran outside. As she threw open the front door something strange happened. A burst of orange light assaulted me and I knew instantly it wasn’t the sun. The world in front of me disappeared and I heard the same whoosh of air I had heard when I left my hospital bed. The strange feeling of pressure returned and the air roared around me while the light permeated my brain. As I felt myself moving through the air and fighting against the tremendous pressure, I had one thought infiltrating the chaos: I never got to see Jenny’s face.

As I hurled through the thickness I felt nauseous and dizzy. Okay, I should be headed where I need to go now, I thought. I took a little detour and now I will be on the right road to the unearthly palace of souls. Just wait until I tell the others what happened! First person I meet in heaven will get to hear quite the story. ‘Hey, I’m Grey. Yep, yep, just arrived. Would I like a pair of angora hair slippers? Why yes I would. A Patargus Series No. 4 cigar and a tumbler of Middleton? Don’t mind if I do. And how did you end up here? Ahhh, wife killed you huh? Well I can hardly blame her what with the way you’ve let yourself go man.’ But maybe the first ‘person’ I will be talking to will be God. How would THAT go? I wasn’t ready to think about that. I was ready to get there and get on with exploring this new world. Now, I was assuming that I wouldn’t just hit a black hole and disappear. If my soul was living right now, surely there was some destination ahead. I started to get a little nervous that there wasn’t. What happened next surprised me even more than the first time. The dizzying whirl and roar abruptly ended and a scene instantly appeared before my eyes. (My eyes?) I think I took another detour. Damnit. I was looking at a huge bookshelf towering over me, filled to the edges with worn book spines lined up like siding on an old barn. My hand reached for a book two shelves above my head. Damnit, not my hand. I watched as a hand with hairy knuckles slowly pulled a two-inch thick book off the shelf carefully. My knuckles were definitely not hairy. The book came down in front of my view and I read the title before the cover was gently pulled back. Cultural Anthropological Analysis of Brazil’s Pua Tribe. Okay now I knew I must be in hell. 

No Pun Intended

I took this picture in an old building in Victor, Colorado - a small mining town close to Cripple Creek. The sign is even funnier considering that the building used to be a brothel. Things that make you go hmmmm.

Suggestive, Eh?

I heart advertising.

Scary Sign Spinners

We've all seen them. Those people (usually awkward teenagers) standing at an intersection, holding a huge wooden sign and spinning it around and around. Their signs are advertising something, whether it be a deal on pizza, or pointing the way to real estate heaven, just down the road. Now how would you have known real estate heaven was just down that street, had the dedicated sign spinner not grabbed your attention and showed you the way?

Sarcasm aside, I have to hand it to those sign spinners - they nearly always look enthusiastic. They have their ear buds in, rocking out to music, and sometimes even bustin' a move artfully involving their sign. Extra points if they get someone to run a red light because they are too distracted watching them hop from foot to foot and twirling the wooden plank like a numchuck.

However, this advertising tactic mostly baffles me. I would love to see the ROI those signs bring their companies. For instance, on my way to work every morning a new sign spinner gal has started frequenting the same spot, but she's not like the others. She is dressed in a clown suit. She has a painted face. And what does her sign say? What is it she is selling? 'Carpet & Flooring'. Hmmm. Do clowns make YOU want to buy carpet and flooring? And does a clown selling carpet at 8am make you want to go buy carpet before you get to work?

Sign spinning is a good job for teenagers, and I'm glad they are working. And to those who at least have their positioning and timing right (pizza deal on street corner at 5pm on a weeknight) more power to you. But the clown I do not get. Did they not do their research and find that the majority of Americas are afraid of clowns?? It's like IT came up from the sewer and wants you to get some new Berber carpet or he'll bite your face off. I'll go buy some pizza, thanks.

Shoes are to Women . . .

. . . as Cars are to Men.

I. Love. Shoes. There - I said it. Hello, my name is Katie and I'm a shoeaholic. And hello my sister friends surrounding me at the Nordstrom shoe department like a flock of friendly birds, all entranced by the same shiny objects. I know, I know - almost all women love shoes. This is nothing new. But what most men, and some women, don't realize is - WHY. Well guys I'm gonna tell you: Shoes Always Fit. Unlike our dress size, our shoe size never changes. And as any woman will tell you, there are so many wardrobe issues that have to do with our weight, or perceived weight, that make having an option that never fails an absolute thrill. So there you have it guys. Mystery solved. When you see your girl come out in an outfit that you think looks great on her and the first thing she says is "Look! Look at my new shoes!" try not to shake your head and say, "What is the big deal with women and shoes?!"

Besides, men have their 'shoes' as well. Only they are cars. Just as slipping on a pair of lovely leather slingback heels can transform you from serious-girl-at-work by day, to fun-loving-vixen by night, a car can make a man feel more like the guy he wants to be, or maybe just enforces who he is. The cliche is that shoes and cars say something about personalities, but I do believe that. And when a man gets behind the wheel, he is inside the car, and therefore gets to take on the perceived characteristics of the vehicle; just as women do with shoes. And I'll admit that a guy's car sometimes makes him more attractive then he actually is. It's like beer goggles or something. I've had Mercedes goggles before. You see the guy in the SLK convertible at the stoplight and you are thinkin', 'He is hot!' But had he just been in line at Home Depot = 'meh'.

And so I give you my list of shoe types and their equivalent in cars and what I think they mean.

Ballerina Flats ========> VW Jetta ========> I am down to earth and low maintenance, but still enjoy being hip.

Platform Pumps ========> Chevy Camaro ========> I am classic and traditional, but have a naughty side.

Peep Toe Heels ========> Any Hybrid Car ========> I want the best of both worlds. (part pump, part sandal; part gas, part electric)

Knee-High Boots ========> Mercedes SUV ========> I am not afraid to stand out. I appreciate style, but still want some function and practicality.

Gladiator Sandals w/Ankle Straps ========> Mazda RX8 ========> I am unconventional and adventurous.

Stilettos ========> Lexus SC ========> I like to be noticed, am confident and fun-loving.

Tennis Shoes ========> Toyota Tacoma ========> I am sporty, practical and outdoorsy.

Sandals with rubber, fabric, or plastic ========> Toyota Prius ========> I am earthy and environmentally conscious. I also probably live in Boulder.