Authentic Self

A friend of mine recently said that she was saddened to realize that she feels she has gotten away from much of her authentic self, the person she was when she was younger, and the person she truly feels she is. She said she thinks this happened when she allowed her life to center around social norms, expectations, and perhaps pleasing others.

If you stop and think about it, hasn't everyone lost sight of their authentic self at least once in their lives? I know when I lost grip of mine. It was like a rope slipping through my fingers for years in an unhappy marriage. At times the rope actually flew out of my hands and I scrambled to find it again. But only when I left the situation did I pull hard on my rope and bring myself back to the beginning: Who I Am. And damn if that didn't that feel good and right.

What sort of influences or situations make us lose or weaken our authentic selves? Is identifying that it's happening the first step to getting back to our truth? I think it is. If you recognize that you are not being true to your being, then that can only be good for moving forward in the right direction. But sometimes I think people don't know it has happened, because they are so deep down in their reality that they maybe don't even remember who they are. But I don't think anyone can tell you . . . I believe it's something you must see on your own, want to change, and then take steps to return to your base.

The Art of Waiting

I have developed a disturbing habit.
No, it's not naming and talking to my car. That's not disturbing. That's endearing. Right, Ruby?

I can't seem to just . . . .wait. Wait and do . . . nothing. In line for lunch, in my car (yes Ruby) at a stoplight, the security line at airport, seated in waiting room at dentist office. And what am I doing instead of nothing?
Yep you guessed it - on my phone. What is that about??!! I pick it up like a security blanket, even without a purpose in mind; but believe me, I'll find a purpose once I get in there! It's getting ridiculous.

However I do take some comfort in knowing I'm NOT alone. Look around. At a restaurant today, three of us were waiting for our to-go orders, and each one of us was on our phone, even though we probably only had to wait for a total of one minute.

Technology has ruined something for a lot of us: the art of waiting. Just sitting; or standing, and . . . waiting. Patiently. Looking around. Taking in your surroundings. Letting your mind wander. Letting your imagination take over. Focusing on the present.

I'm really going to make an effort to put that phone down and just BE.

Cooking Up An Idea

I took this pic at the San Diego Convention Center.
Reminds me of the levels of the mind and subconscious.

I’ve had something marinating in my brain for a little while now. It’s an idea. A BIG IDEA. A scary idea. Risky idea. Change-your-life kind of idea.

I’ve been thinking about it constantly. I’m waking up with new ideas and thoughts that I jot down on a pad of paper on the nightstand through bleary morning eyes. But I feel like I just might be seeing things clearly for the first time in a while.

I have notebooks, loose pieces of paper and the note app on my phone filled with the ideas and things I want to remember. This thing, this idea, it’s growing and dividing and marinating in creative juices. I feel alive!!

When the time is right, I just might start cooking it.

30-Something Blues . . . and Reds

Okay. I've experienced a few years in my decade of 30's now. And I'm finally ready to write about it. Yes, it took me this long. You see, that jump from your 20's into your 30's is a tough one for most women I think. Especially since our culture seems to value being young, crazy and in your 20's. So 30 can feel a bit like you have left a fun vacation locale and are setting sail for a new, more mature and responsible world.

And yes, the 30's do come with new and sometimes tough things. Many women are mothers, and find very little time for themselves, and start to long for the days that didn't revolve around domestic duties, crying children and big financial decisions. And it's harder to keep that 20's figure anymore. The workouts need to be longer and tougher and targeted. You think twice about ordering those fries. Career-wise you may start to re-think your direction. No longer just working at a job out of college and happy to just have a paycheck, you may find yourself wanting to find something that truly fuels you and your life passions.

But despite the things above, I'm finally starting to see the perks of this decade. In fact, I'm head over heels in love with it. Released from much of the social pressure around looks and fashion, we are now free to embrace our personal style with grace, ease and no apologies. You realize it just doesn't matter if your outfit is spot-on/matches/is trendy/is what is expected. You figure out what works for you and run with it. You develop a signature look. It's extremely freeing.

Your 30's is a key decade for checking on the course of your career. Are you still on track for your goals and dreams? Or have you gone so off the map that you feel lost at sea? If it is time to jump ship or harbor in a different port, this is the perfect time to do it. You still have so much working time ahead of you (don't think too much about that) that a major career change is doable. Plus, as mentioned above, you can relax into your authentic self and may know more about what you want to for work.

The time is also right for complete honesty. You have nothing to lose by being honest with yourself. In fact, you OWE it to yourself. Take a big heaping helping of truth, with a side of introspection why don't you? Because once you start to examine what makes you truly happy, what hurts you, what you worry about, and what you need to feel alive, then you can live your life fully.

I'm not saying all this can only happen in your 30's, it's just been true for me. But I would love to hear what others think - are you experiencing/have you experienced the same feelings while in your 30's? Or did that come later, or earlier for you?

The Sun. It is Bright.

"Can you hand me my shades?"

When the Road Gets Rocky

On our recent trip to the San Juan Mountains of Colorado we took a Jeep road up to about 11,500ft. and were greeted by beautiful views at the top. Near the top we also realized our road had turned into this . . . 

To give perspective, the narrow part of the path in the background was only about 15ft. wide, and was a sheer drop off to the right, with crumbling rock underfoot.

In looking at the picture days after the trip, it struck me how much it reminded me of life's little (or big) dilemmas. Because the road always gets rocky, doesn't it? It's never smooth and easy the whole way. That wouldn't be fun and that wouldn't be reality. And you are always faced with a decision at that time. Fight or flight really. Do you take the risk? Do you buy the house? Do you open the business? Do you get divorced? Do you change jobs? Do you move to another country? Do you invest the money? Do you tell the truth? 

Of course it can be easier to just do the opposite; to do nothing. But how long will you be content with that? How long before your thoughts begin to nag . . . begin to tell you that you've wasted time by not doing it initially. Then you face regret. And regret hurts.

So what did we do when faced with this literal rocky and scary 'road'?

We got out and walked. :)

All Hallow's Eve

Ahh, Halloween. One of the strangest 'holidays' we have. Also one of the most fun, I think. I mean, what's not to like? Costumes, scaring people for fun, loads of sweets and candy without the guilt, gutting pumpkins and carving lopsided faces into them, and answering the door to trick or treaters. But I think the best part is when you are an adult, and it's STILL acceptable to dress up - for adult Halloween parties. What a great excuse for adults to not only act like kids again, but also to sometimes hide behind the safe mask of a different persona they want to try out - judgment free! ;)-

So what's your Halloween costume M.O.? Are you a pop culture fan? A funny pun maker? A character specialist? Cutesy? Sexy? Freaky? Gory?
All are welcome, on All Hallow's Eve :)